when you encounter a setback

So you’ve got a dream, and you’re well along the way to realizing it. Your vision feels exciting, energizing, and inspiring. You’re stoked! You have no lack of motivation to get out of bed in the morning and take small steps towards this goal. And then, inevitably, something happens to slow you down. It feels like getting knocked off course - either a little or a lot.

Uh oh…you’ve encountered a setback.

Let’s talk about setbacks. What are they, why do they happen, and what can we do about them? How do you keep from getting discouraged and continue moving forward when it feels like the wind has been taken out of your sails?

I’m sure you’ve experienced setbacks before. Setbacks happen to everyone, and they are frustrating. I am experiencing a physical setback right now: a muscle imbalance in my hips that has my left side feeling tight. While it’s not painful to run, the tightness isn’t getting any better running on it. I’ve run myself into injuries before by not paying careful attention to the balance in my body, so I’m turning to other activities and addressing the imbalance before I run again. Since I have a goal race on the calendar, not running feels a little unnerving. But being healthy and balanced is essential for distance running, so that’s my focus right now.

In my experience, setbacks are bound to happen once you lock in on a dream or goal. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Pretty ironic, right? For example, you decide to start your own business and then encounter some major expenses. Or you set your sights on a physical goal and become injured or sick. Or you get really clear and focused on the kind of partner and relationship you want, and your dating life is crickets.

What’s up with setbacks?

I don’t know the answer to this. Setbacks might be perfectly designed tests from the Universe. They might also be completely random. To be honest, I have never set out to accomplish or create something without encountering setbacks. Sometimes I experience many of them, one after another. Setbacks just seem to be part of the process of creation.

How do you handle setbacks when they happen?

I believe how we deal with setbacks is crucial to our end result. It begins with how we regard them. When something stops you in your tracks, do you become discouraged and take it as a sign that your goal is out of reach? I mean…that’s an option. I’ve done it before many times. At times, I’ve encountered a setback like a running injury and told myself, ‘I give up! That goal is just not for me.’

In the moment, giving up can feel weirdly satisfying. It’s like throwing a tantrum and saying ‘I quit, I don’t want that stinking goal anyway!’ Although it’s an option, I find that every time I do it, I close myself off to growth. If I really want something…an experience, or a change…shutting down when I encounter setbacks can make my life feel really small.

The great news is that while setbacks are a part of the process of change and creation, you can learn how to handle them effectively. You can learn to troubleshoot problems and keep moving forward. Effectively handling setbacks will not only lead you to realizing your goal, but you’ll grow in new ways in the process.

Setbacks can actually make you stronger than you would have been without them.

The first step to overcoming a setback is to realize that they are inevitable. Occasionally, a setback might keep you from achieving your goal on schedule. For example, if I’d encountered my hip issue a month before my race, I’d probably need to pivot and find a later race, so that I have time to correct the imbalance. Encountering a delay is a bummer, but it doesn’t mean you won’t realize your dream. You may need to postpone certain steps or modify your end goal. But the result is still going to be sweet…maybe even sweeter than it would have been if it had all gone according to plan.

What about when a setback doesn’t require a pivot, but just delays your daily progress and interrupts your routine? I find that it’s important not to lose momentum but to embrace the issue and the problem-solving that it requires as PART of your progress toward your goal. For example, I’m not running right now, but instead of racking up miles, I’m enjoying yoga, strength training and cross training. These have become my new daily focus until running feels healthy again.

It helps to think of a setback as part of the puzzle that you’re solving, and redirect your energy into taking care of whatever needs addressing. All while keeping your eye on the end goal.

I can’t help but add one more thing about setbacks. You’ll get more bang for your buck by considering ALL of the ways a setback will help you grow. While my hip imbalance is a physical issue, I’m taking the opportunity to contemplate why it’s here in the first place. There are the factors of stress, sleep and diet. But according to Louise Hay (one of my favorite authors), there is likely a significant mental component to consider. And my inquiry into the mind-body connection has led me back to The Work of Byron Katie. Working on the broader mental and emotional issues of my setback impacts every area of my life, not just my running and my physical body.

So it appears that my current setback is actually making me stronger, clearer, less stressed, and more resilient…if I’m willing to see it that way and do my own inner work.

If there’s one thought I could leave you with, it’s to not freak out about a setback. Instead, get curious. Consider that what seems like an obstacle could actually be an opportunity to become stronger. And know that you can problem-solve your way to even greater momentum than you had before.

What setbacks have you encountered as you move towards your dreams? Drop me a note and let me know! Or use this link to schedule a free connection call and we’ll explore how to move through your current setbacks. And for more juicy life stuff, tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡