‘find your center…?’

How many times have you heard the phrase, ‘find your center’? Other ways of saying it might be ‘hit the target’, or ‘get into alignment’ or a phrase I tend to use often, ‘become congruent.’ All of these well-meaning phrases are pointing at the same concept.

But what do they really mean?

What is ‘finding your center’ in practical terms?

Honestly, I feel a little frustration with these phrases. They tend to come off as New Agey and ambiguous. They are easy to throw around, but the lack of clarity around what they mean can be off-putting!

And yet, I believe these words point to something that is hugely significant for our mental, emotional, and physical well being.

Lately I’ve been trying to find different words to articulate the concept of center.

You know when something just feels right to you?

It’s a feeling of knowing what you want and what makes sense to you. For instance, you usually choose the chocolate dessert over the fruity one. There are things that you care deeply about and could talk about for days. You love all cats, but your heart really melts when you see a tuxedo kitty (this describes me!). Your brain works in a certain way that is similar to some people, and different from others. On a very simple level, some stuff just feels aligned with you.

And how about what you don’t particularly like?

There are things to which you have an aversion and things that don’t even appear on your radar. What comes to mind for you? I enjoy cookies from time to time, but I would never choose to eat an Oreo. I just don’t like them. My brain has always been more drawn to the arts and humanities. I wish I were a killer math or science person, but I’m not wired that way.

You could call this awareness ‘knowing yourself’. You understand that some things feel right to you, some things don’t pull you at all, and some feel ‘off’ to you. Of course, as you change and grow, you may appreciate or even be attracted to things you once didn’t like. Knowing yourself is never a fixed thing. It’s something you’re always gauging.

Have you ever had the experience of doing something or choosing something that didn’t feel right?

Like the time when you dated someone even though you had a gut feeling that they weren’t right for you? Or you wore something that felt awkward and uncomfortable, just because it was in your closet? Or you were in a conversation with someone and heard yourself saying something you don’t really believe, because you thought it would please the other person?

See where I’m going with this?

Your ‘center’ is your uniqueness. It’s the essence of you. It’s all of the stuff you didn’t necessarily choose to like or dislike; it’s just how you’re wired. There is a truth to what makes you YOU. And it’s different from everyone else on the planet. Even if you have an identical twin, I’m betting there are a ton of things that differentiate your personalities, your likes and dislikes.

Why find your center?

So that you can quickly discern when you’re on target and off target. So that you are able to live in the world more truthfully. So that you know the feeling of being aligned with your truth and also understand the feeling of being out of alignment.

Here’s the tricky thing.

We live in a world where being centered…really knowing yourself… just isn’t considered as valuable as other things.

Instead, we’re taught to strive for things like being smart, successful, respected, wealthy, good-looking, etc. Add to that religious and cultural beliefs about being a nice person, not causing conflict, not hurting other people’s feelings, and fitting in. It’s a rare individual who can stay completely centered while navigating life.

To be human is to feel off-center sometimes. If you’ve been a people-pleaser, it's not uncommon to feel out of touch with your own preferences, likes and dislikes! Because you’ve been more attuned to what other people consider correct or acceptable, you’ve wandered away from your own center.

Find your center.

Does this phrase make more sense now? You have a truth, an alignment, a uniqueness, that is singular to you. Sometimes you feel right on target with yourself, sometimes a little off. When you are significantly off, it feels painful and difficult. It’s often the pain of being far off-center that brings people to make life changes and learn to understand themselves better.

I believe that this ‘center’ everyone is talking about is not so elusive.

I believe that knowing yourself is crucial to living a life that feels good.

I believe that being in your truth is the only way others can really know you.

I believe that being off-center feels like swimming against a strong current.

I believe that being congruent feels like riding with the current.

It takes courage to understand yourself, to realize where you’ve been off-center and align yourself with what feels right to you. It can feel disruptive to the status quo. Choosing yourself isn’t always easy or convenient.

But I believe that the world will be a better place, a kinder place, a more joyful place, when we honor ourselves enough to find our center. When we allow others to rest in their center. When we can all work less hard at trying to please and fit in and be who we truly are.

Use this link to schedule a free connection call with me and we’ll explore what being centered means for you. And for more juicy life stuff, tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡