choose your people wisely
You know that expression, choose your people wisely?
Pretty obvious what it means, right? If we become like the people we surround ourselves with, being intentional in our choices seems incredibly important. I want to add another dimension to this expression: choose the people who support you and allow you to truly be yourself.
Who in your life really ‘gets’ you? Who loves you for exactly who you are, quirks, weaknesses and all? Who is there for you no matter what, and without condition? This includes the people who don’t judge you (even when they may not understand), are happy to make time to be with you or talk to you (even when you’re down), and are willing to tell you the truth, (even when it’s uncomfortable)?
Conversely, who in your life do YOU ‘get’ on a deep level? Who has qualities that you want more of in yourself? Who would you drop everything to help out? To whom are you willing to show your truest feelings?
These are your people. It’s good to know who they are.
You may know that I love drawing parallels between ultra marathoning and life. In part, because the mindset it takes to get to the finish of a long run is a lot like the mindset it takes to see you through a big change or something you’re creating in your life.
In an ultramarathon, especially distances of 100 miles or more, it’s common to choose a few people to help you reach the finish line. We call them crew and pacers.
In a long race, your crew are the people who show up at aid stations along the way and keep you going. They may fill your pockets with snacks or help you change socks and shoes. It’s the crew’s job to anticipate what you’ll need, get it to you quickly, encourage you, and get you out of the aid station and to the finish line.
Your pacers, who may also be on your crew, join you later in your race. It’s a pacer’s job to keep you eating, drinking, and moving. Your pacer will help you stay on course when you’re getting sleepy. They may tell you funny stories to keep your mind occupied when you’re quiet and irritable. Like the crew, the pacer’s job is to get you to your goal, which is the finish line.
In your life, who are YOUR crew and pacers? Who genuinely wants to see you thrive, and is willing to help support you as you move towards your dreams?
These are your people. Pure and simple.
Now that you have an idea of who your chosen people are, take a moment to notice who else is around you. What is their support for you like? Can you be yourself? Do they really get you, even when you’re a little weird or unconventional? How well do they listen?
Let’s be realistic: not everyone around us will be our chosen people, nor do they need to be. As we move through life, we’ll have lots of different kinds of people around, and we don’t have to bare our souls to everyone. It’s helpful to understand this.
Choosing your people…the people who get you, who let you be you, who you can let your guard down around, who you can call on when you need help…it’s really just about recognizing who they are.
Invest in these people. Invest in these friendships. You don’t have to have a lot of them around to feel very supported.
A side note: your people may change over the course of your life. Some might always be there. Some may not. Our people can and will change as we move through life. And this is OK.
Choosing your people wisely is important as you become more at home in yourself and drop - bit by bit - the stuff that is not you. Having your crew and pacers dialed in gives you a real shot at completing this ultra.
Your people are along with you on this journey. They are willing to walk the path with you.
Who doesn’t want people to walk with them sometimes?
Where does your path lead in 2024? Use this link to schedule a free connection call with me and we’ll explore how you can get there. And for more juicy life stuff, tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡