you’re not stuck
Do you ever feel stuck? Stalled out? In between things? Not exactly where you want to be? As a transformational coach, I encounter this phenomenon with my clients a lot. And I’ve often felt stuck when creating something new in my own life. On the bright side, I’ve come to see what I believe is the antidote to feeling stuck…and I want to share that with you today.
But first, let’s talk about feeling ‘stuck’. You have a goal or vision in mind, but feel like you’re not getting there as fast as you’d like. Let’s liken this to a road trip. You’re leaving Boston on your way to Los Angeles, and the first few hundred miles feel exciting. There’s a lot of anticipation and positive energy. You’re driving toward L.A., clicking off the miles. Then, somewhere on the interstate, your car breaks down. And now you are moving at zero miles an hour…you’re literally standing still.
This is what ‘stuck’ feels like. You know where you’re going, but it doesn’t feel like you’re getting any closer. You feel discouraged and disheartened. And the more you feel stuck, the more discouraged you become. Soon you start to doubt yourself. You doubt your ability to make it to L.A. You wonder whether L.A. is even a good idea! But because you’ve left Boston, you’re also disoriented, because you’re not where you used to be. Now there’s a feeling of being in between places. You feel untethered and a little lost.
This is bound to happen when you make a change or create something new. How often have you been genuinely excited about a new goal or vision for yourself? Your initial steps forward feel energizing and exciting. Then, somewhere along the way, things slow down. Maybe you encounter logistical issues. Or perhaps you face disapproval or discouragement from the people around you. You may question whether your goal is attainable or even worth wanting. You may feel inspired one moment and lethargic the next. Some days you believe you can do it and other days you doubt that it’s possible.
You are noticing the gap between what you want and where you are right now.
Here’s the thing, though.
I believe that being stuck is an illusion. It’s a powerful feeling, but it’s a temporary perception…not reality. What is real right now is that you are somewhere between where you started and where you’re going. And because you’re not there yet, you focus on the gap between ‘here’ and ‘there’. And that feels bad.
That’s it. Pure and simple.
There are many different ways to solve the problem of the broken down car…but in the end, if you really want to get to LA, you will find a way. You could get the car repaired. You could find another vehicle or choose another mode of transportation. You could get towed back to Boston and postpone the trip while you get your car in top shape. You CAN figure it out. Problems and delays and setbacks are part of any journey.
Your ability to problem solve is crucial in reaching your goal.
Life goals are a lot like road trips. Let’s say I’m working with a client who wants a new job. This person came to coaching not because they wanted to find just any job, but their dream job. Our initial conversation about their dream job, how it will feel, how they’ll know when they’ve landed it…that’s fun and exciting. We spend a good amount of time in this conversation, because if you’re going to create something new, it pays to imagine it exactly how you want it.
Every day, this person crafts their vision. They practice how it will feel to have the new job. They talk to friends and colleagues about it, search job postings, and send out applications. Good for them! They’re on their way to a new reality. Yay!
But let’s imagine that despite their excitement, they are not finding many job listings that match their vision. Or when they do apply for a job, they are not getting far in the interview process. Uh oh.
THIS is the first crucial moment in their journey. This is like the car problem on the side of the road. It’s the first roadblock.
At this point, my client has a choice. They may become discouraged…they are human, after all. But after the initial discouragement, the most powerful choice they have is to be intentional with their focus. Are they focusing on the gap? Or are they able to focus on their vision, even though they’re not there yet?
Your ability to keep your focus on your dream, vision, or goal is EVERYTHING.
Even when it feels like you’ve lost momentum, notice where you are. Solve the inevitable problems that pop up with a degree of dispassion. You get to choose where you put your emotional energy. Will you put it into the gap? Or will you keep feeding your vision with anticipation and excitement?
It’s only human to feel discouraged sometimes. But you don’t have to keep feeding the discouragement.
When you can feed your vision instead of the gap, you will not continue to feel stuck.
You’re not stuck…you’re just noticing a gap. Use your discernment to correct what needs to be corrected and keep feeding your dream with energy and emotion.
I’m sharing this because it works. It’s worked for me and I see it working for my clients again and again. The way to not feel stuck is to not invest your energy in feeling stuck. The way to not feel stuck is to train your eyes on your goal and keep stepping forward. It’s that simple. Try it out. Let me know what you find.
You’re not stuck! Let’s chat about that. Click here to schedule a free connection call with me. We’ll sort it out! And for more juicy life stuff, tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡