when you’re bored with what you do

Let’s talk about a feeling that is quite common…and in my opinion, not always discussed openly. I’ve felt this; people close to me have, too. And as a coach, I work with people on this very thing.

Let’s talk about what happens when you’re bored with what you do.

You can swap the word bored for another feeling if it fits better. Perhaps you’re no longer excited about what you do. Or maybe you no longer believe in what you do.

And for that matter, the phrase what you do is also flexible. The feeling of boredom or lack of connection could point to something else like your self-image, or where you live, or the social circle you find yourself in.

Let me use myself as an example. I grew up playing the piano, and at some point I got pretty serious about it. I accepted a music scholarship to college, majored in music, and went on to get both a master's and doctoral degree in piano. For about 25 years, I made my living performing and teaching.

For more than two decades, being a concert pianist was thrilling and deeply interesting. I worked hard at it, and while there were other things in life that I enjoyed, my work gave me a sense of purpose.

In my mid 40s, I started to feel out-of-touch with performing. It just didn’t feel as compelling as it used to. I found myself thinking less about my work. Things that had previously driven me…like high-profile concerts, collaborating with composers, and being in the contemporary classical music scene…were no longer appealing.

Other endeavors became more important. I devoured books on philosophy and spirituality. I spent hours journaling and trying to figure myself out. And I gained clarity about who I was becoming, I started to feel like I was ‘phoning it in’ as a pianist. I practiced less. I was less enthusiastic about opportunities to play.

For several years I kept one foot in a world that I’d worked hard to create…one that I kept feeling less interested and invested in. Part of me couldn’t fathom starting over again with something new. Music and piano seemed crucial to my identity. Who would I be if I tried something else?

I’ll also admit that I enjoyed the respect and recognition that came after decades in the music world. How would others view me if I threw it all away?

This was a difficult period in my life. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you know what I mean. It can be soul-sucking to spend your days doing something you no longer feel invested in.

So here’s what I want to say:

Feeling bored with what you do, especially if you’ve been doing it for a while, is a very, very normal feeling.

Not everyone becomes bored with what they do. Some people love their vocation for their whole lives. That’s enviable! So often I wished I was one of those musicians who want to perform forever. I think it would have been an easier path to take.

But here’s the thing. Many of us aren’t wired that way.

We have different and diverse interests.

As we develop and grow, our interests and passions change.

There’s nothing wrong with this.

Let’s normalize the need for change in our lives.

As a coach, I notice how people often feel stuck when they’re seeking change. I get it! Acknowledging your feelings of apathy and boredom around something that used to be exciting can feel scary.

But the first step towards clarity is to make an honest assessment of where you are right now. We’re not talking about quitting your job - now or ever - if that’s not what you want to do. When you pause and notice how you feel, you acknowledge the truth of the present moment. YOUR truth. 

Facing the truth of where you are is liberating.

And knowing that other people feel this too…that it’s NORMAL…is relieving.

Does this resonate with you? How does it feel to know that you’re not alone?

That where you find yourself is incredibly normal?

That you’re right on time?

Can you cut yourself some slack?

When you’re faced with boredom or apathy for something in your life, it’s easy to panic. To think you’ve got to do something about it right away. It’s easy to put the cart before the horse and start looking for alternatives or ways to escape.

But in my experience, feeling bored is not a cue to take action. Action can come later, if you so choose.

The feeling of boredom is a rich opportunity to pause and assess.

Most of us don’t regularly assess our own happiness and well-being as we move through life. So a feeling of boredom or apathy is worth unpacking. This feeling didn’t appear overnight. Some part of you has been neglected or unsatisfied…you just haven’t been paying conscious attention to it.

It’s time to start paying attention.

Acknowledge how you feel. Be with your discomfort. You don’t have to know anything or make any decisions at this point. Just line up with yourself and the truth of this moment.

You may be thinking OK, that’s great…but what happens next? What am I going to DO about it?

I’ll address this topic step-by-step in several upcoming messages, so stay tuned for next week’s email.

For now though, see if you can be with the feelings this is bringing up.

You are OK. I promise.

If you’re feeling bored with what you do and want to chat with me, click here to schedule a free connection call. And for more juicy life stuff, check out my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡