the risks of being yourself

I’ve noticed something that isn’t talked about much:

What might happen when you start to change.

Let me back up for a moment. I think it’s not only possible but common to be ‘not yourself.’

Weird, right? Here’s what I mean.

I know so many people who feel like they’re living in a way that isn’t fully in sync with who they are. I get it. My own painful experience in living as ‘not myself’ was the impetus for my podcast and coaching work.

In social media posts, I like to say ‘be yourself’…or some version of this.

But it’s amazing how just the idea of ‘being yourself’ can strike fear in people.

What would happen if you really let yourself be you?

I’m not suggesting it’s a problem for everyone. But I talk with many people who struggle - in one way or another - with being what people expect them to be.

It is human to grow and evolve.

It’s natural and healthy to change!

And yet, it’s common to fear how we’ll be received by others. In the midst of some of my changes, I’ve worried about being judged and criticized. I’ve also feared being perceived as flaky or inconsistent or undependable.

Just because I’ve changed something that no longer reflects who I am.

It’s not uncommon to live with the tension of two parts.

One part of us feels the urge to grow and expand and express ourselves in a new way.

Another part worries about how we will appear to others.

That tension is often unconscious…and it can keep us from showing our true self to the world.

So, we might make small changes but not tell anyone.

Or we may keep ourselves on an old track - even though we long to do something new - because that’s who everyone expects us to be.

Being yourself is not always easy. And it’s not always going to be received well.

Let’s face it: there are risks to being yourself.

I happen to believe those risks are utterly worth it…but they are there. The risks are WHY you feel some fear around changing. So let’s talk about them.

People may question or criticize your choices. Some of these people may be close to you. And explaining your choices may not necessarily put them at ease. You may be questioned and even criticized. At some point, you may need to exercise personal boundaries with those who continue to criticize or complain.

People may talk behind your back. This one feels scary, right? But in reality, people talk about us anyway and we aren’t aware of it. I know how much it hurts when you learn that people who you thought loved and respected you are talking behind your back. But ultimately, we can’t do anything about people talking about us. So why waste time fearing it? Hey, if someone’s bothering to talk about me, I must be doing something significant!

You may lose people. There…I said it. Losing people from time to time is a part of life and it can happen for a multitude of reasons, many of them not having anything to do with you. I’m talking about real interpersonal relationships AND social media relationships. I know the latter may not feel as important or real, but they are a kind of relationship, and if you use social media, you probably find having friends and followers comforting.

When I have made big changes, I have lost people from both groups. I’ve lost friends who no longer sync with who I’ve become, and I’ve lost followers and social media contacts who aren’t interested in what I’m doing anymore. All of this is TOTALLY OK. We all get to choose who we spend time with and follow. No judgment here.

But it can and will happen when you take that step into the unknown…some people may leave.

Of course, this also means that some people will come.

As I’ve expressed what’s important to me, all sorts of people have either appeared or reappeared in my life. People who care about the stuff I’m talking about. People who share my interests and concerns. People who I want to follow and spend time with.

When you allow yourself to BE yourself, life will change to reflect your new reality.

It’s a beautiful thing.

It’s good to have people and circumstances support who you are.

It’s good to not have to hide parts of yourself from those who would judge or criticize you.

There is a tremendous amount of relief in being yourself and having your life reflect the real you.

Want to talk with me? Click here to schedule a free connection call. And for more juicy life stuff, check out my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡