Inside Out
Are you the same person on the outside as you are on the inside?
In my 55 years, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like my ‘outie’ and ‘innie’ matched. As a kid I learned (like pretty much everyone else) that outside approval meant that I was ‘doing it right’. External validation helped make me a good student, a nice person, someone with ambition. It motivated me to cultivate a musical talent that touched people, to win attention with my abilities, to try and succeed at difficult things, to be perceived as smart, and to look good. None of these things are wrong, nor are they necessarily at odds with the real me. But as a people-pleaser, I assumed the things that brought me approval were also expected. As a result, I hustled so hard that I often lost touch with my actual feelings and desires.
Unconsciously prioritizing outside approval over inner congruence has been costly. A divorce, lost friendships, and changes in career are some prices I’ve paid for not always being in touch with my inner self. And yet each change has presented a huge opportunity for growth. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have it all figured out. But as I lean into the truth about what I’m feeling, there’s more synergy between me and everything else in my life.
The inside me has always felt like a philosopher, a mystic, and a healer. By healer, I mean that I can help make the world a better place by being authentic and true. As an integrative change worker, I help people who are also navigating their internal and external lives. While I love finding clarity within myself - those ‘aha’ moments that bring so much relief and perspective - I truly love helping others find their own clarity. There’s nothing better.
It used to be scary to share my thoughts and feelings in public, but the more I do it, the easier it is. My old circle was one of intellectuals, academics, and analytical thinkers. I still have elements of all of those in me. In my old group, there was a wee bit of disdain for the mystical and spiritual, so I kept that part of myself hidden.
But I don’t do that anymore. It feels really good to step into who I am now, and to become - more and more - the same, inside out.
Do you sometimes feel that innie/outie split? I am accepting new clients for life-transforming change work. Click here to schedule a free 60-minute connection call with me. May your week be filled with self-love and deep insights! With love, Amy ♡♡♡