face forward (don’t run sideways)

You know I love running analogies, right? Well, here’s another one. Even if you’re not a runner - even if you hate running - I hope this will feel relevant to you, and maybe even relate to something going on in your life right now.

One of the big perks of living in the Boulder area - a place filled with serious athletes - is that I have an amazing physical therapist. I went to see him yesterday for this hip thing that is currently keeping me from running. After exchanging hellos and feeding his adorable dog some treats, he put me on the treadmill to run for a couple of minutes while he took videos from multiple angles. Once I stepped off the treadmill, he chuckled and said, ‘no wonder your hip hurts…you’re running sideways!’

Essentially he was correct. My right side was angled forward, my right toe pointing outward. My left side was dragging a bit behind my right, and my left leg was rotated inward, causing my left toe to point slightly inward. I was putting more weight on my right leg and asking my left leg to catch up. My left leg was so busy trying to keep up that my backward extension was woefully short. No wonder my left hip has been complaining!

For the next hour, he manipulated the muscles in my left hip. He dry needled trigger points and did electro-stimulation to get certain muscles firing again. I don’t love dry needling…it’s not relaxing, like getting a nice deep massage…and the combination of a tiny needle stuck in a muscle and electrodes causing that muscle to involuntarily contract is a weird feeling. But it was also necessary. Over time, asking my left side to do more and more made it angry and tight. Certain muscles turned off, which decreased strength and mobility and made the whole left side complain. After the needling, my PT gave me a few simple but challenging exercises to practice that will help build back strength and mobility in my left hip.

On my hike this morning I was thinking about imbalance and running sideways as a metaphor for life. How often have I let one side of me dominate, neglecting the other side, making it struggle to keep up, and putting myself into a world of pain as a result? How often have I felt locked into a routine or pace that eventually leaves me feeling out of control? How often have I let myself get to a point of imbalance so slowly as to be imperceptible?

The answer is, a lot. In running AND in life. The truth is, I’ve been imbalanced enough for it to feel like a kind of familiar place. I mean, it’s not where I live all of the time, but I find myself here more than I’d like to admit.

I don’t love being in this place of imbalance. But since it’s familiar, I have come to regard it as an opportunity. Because every time I’m here, I have to slow down, rest a little more than usual, and pay attention to what’s going on. I usually need to enlist the help of others, which means I end up learning a lot about what balance IS. Because I’ve been here many times, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and what balance and function and mobility and strength feel like for me. And I am speaking literally as well as metaphorically.

When do you feel most balanced in your life?

How do you know you’re in a place of balance?

What does functioning at a high level feel like to you? Are you experiencing it now?

How would you rate your current level of mobility? Are you moving easily and without restriction…physically, mentally, and emotionally?

How strong and resilient do you feel? How do you know when you’re feeling powerful and capable?

I don’t have any set answers to these questions. Feeling balanced is something everyone needs to do for themself. And that sense of balance is going to fluctuate in life. So will your degree of self-awareness and the ability to tune into how balanced you feel…that will also go up and down, depending on a lot of variables.

I’m taking away a few things from my current sideways-running-induced imbalance.

First, I’m going to become a lot better at prioritizing self-awareness and balance. I’m going to make sure that whatever I’m doing, I start from a place of balance. I’ll get better at catching myself before getting too out of whack and learn to bring myself back.

Second, I’m going to take advantage of having experts - my PT, therapist, or others - who can look at me objectively and use their vast knowledge to help me return to balance. As for physical therapy, I’m going to go for regular appointments, AND I’m going to do the exercises he gives me religiously. Because it works.

Third, when both sides of me are even and facing forward, I’ll orient myself to the feeling so that I burn it into my awareness. I’ll make both sides even and strong. I’ll celebrate both of my sides.  And I’ll make sure that no matter how busy I am, or how excited I become about a goal, that I show up to train with all of me facing forward.

This last bit IS both literal and metaphorical.

I am…you are…we are…so multidimensional and complex. There is so much that makes us who we are. Let’s bring all of it to the table, all in the right balance.

Feeling like you could use a little more balance in your life? Click here to schedule a free connection call with me. And for more juicy life stuff, tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡