are you afraid to try?

Is there something you long to go after…and even though you feel excited and inspired, you also feel a good deal of fear?

Today I want to talk about where fear comes from, why it shows up, and how we can learn to be with it so that it doesn’t stop us from creating something new.

To be honest, I think about fear a LOT.

In a lot of ways, I’m NOT a fearful person. I’ve made big life changes (relationships, career, cross-country moves). I’ve taken on significant challenges as a performing musician and amateur athlete. In quite a few areas of my life, I’ve dared to go after dreams when it would have been safer to stay put.

But I also experience a good amount fear in the form of hyper-vigilance. If I let myself, I can find hidden dangers in just about anything. Ask my husband! There are certain things that I especially fear, like heights, but my brain can spot potential catastrophes just about anywhere.

Of course, fear is an important human emotion. It’s there to protect you and keep you safe. If there’s real danger lurking, fear and adrenaline can get you out of that situation. The problem is, your brain is capable of feeling that kind of fight-or-flight response in situations that aren’t remotely physically dangerous.

The ability to imagine potential failure, catastrophe, or any negative situation is a very human trait…and sometimes it’s more a curse than a blessing.

When you consider making a change or going after a dream, do you feel fear? And if so, how does it show up? As I mentioned, MY brain likes to imagine all of the things that could go wrong, including failure. Depending on the situation, my brain also conjures up public humiliation, physical danger and/or injury, financial ruin, and loss in just about every way possible.

When I was performing concerts, I feared completely flopping…forgetting the music, or tripping walking onto the stage, or a host of other embarrassments. I feared people thinking that I was a fraud, and I feared all of my concerts and students and income slipping away. And inevitably, I’d imagine myself ending up destitute and homeless. The funny thing is, I was actually a conscious OVER-preparer, and almost never had performances that were really sub par…I worked my butt off to make sure I was ready.

As a performer I was able to deal with my fear somewhat successfully, because even though I feared complete failure, I didn’t allow the fear to stop me. I walked onto stages, I played concerts…and while I was never completely without fear, I did learn how to harness it. I used some of the physical energy that adrenaline gave me, and I could mask most of the symptoms of fear. And in all of my years of performing, I never recall refusing an opportunity to perform because of fear.

But now I want to take on a challenge that genuinely scares me.

Not in a life-threatening danger kind of way, but in a ‘will-I-rise-to-the-occasion’ kind of way. I’m not ready to divulge the details, but let’s just say that I want to go after something that will bring a considerable amount of discomfort. If I didn’t feel such a pull, I’d let it go. I’d stay comfortable. But the draw is there.

Do YOU have something that is pulling you AND also scares you? Do you go back and forth between really wanting to do it and backing away because it feels too dangerous? Do you fear failing? And what would failure look like anyway? If you were to back down from your desire, would you feel a sense of loss or disappointment?

When you’re following your heart, fear is really normal. So normal that it keeps a lot of us from really going after what we want.

What if you could allow the fear to be there and go for it anyway? How much would you grow? What would you learn?

And the biggest question:

if you could go after what you want despite feeling some fear, what ELSE would be possible for you? What would your limits be?

I want to share a quote from ultra runner and coach Susan Donnelly. Susan runs 100 mile ultramarathons - in fact, she’s finished more than 125 of them. At age 62, she’s still crushing 100s. Susan’s most recent blog article, How to Decide When You Fear Failure, ends with this sentence: 

‘If you’re going to be afraid of anything, be afraid not to try.’

You have one life.

What do you long to try?

Want some inspiration to go after what YOU desire? Tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself)! Or set up a free connection call with me. As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡