When the truth hurts
Wouldn’t it be nice if telling the truth always felt great? If it could be received with gratitude and a warm smile, and everyone around you were instantly better just because you spoke up?
Sometimes telling the truth DOES feel good. It can liberate you from the heavy burden of keeping a secret. The truth might help someone you love in a tough situation, or provide just enough perspective to make life flow better.
But what about when telling the truth doesn’t feel good? What about when it feels scary to share difficult information with someone that you love?
Herein lies a big gray area for a lot of humans. In my family, I was raised to tell the truth. Honesty was one of our highest values. But I also learned not to hurt other people’s feelings. And while that is also important, it gets tricksy when I know something that isn’t going to feel great to the person I’m sharing it with.
To be clear, I am NOT talking about voicing my unsolicited opinion. For instance, unless you ask me what I genuinely think, the phrase, ‘that’s not a flattering color on you’ is best not expressed out loud. You’re not asking for it, and it’s just my opinion anyway. Nothing life-threatening will probably happen if you wear what I perceive is not your best color.
What I AM talking about is when I’m privy to information about something that you don’t already know and could be hard to hear. For instance, I may be aware that someone in your life is acting in ways that will hurt or sabotage you. These are deeply uncomfortable truths, because hearing them could feel disappointing and painful. In these situations, I ask myself:
If roles were reversed, is this information I would truly want to know? And,
Leaving hurt or disappointment aside, would having this information enable me to help myself?
If you struggle with knowing when to share an uncomfortable truth, ask yourself these questions. The answers may bring you clarity. If you love someone who is being hurt, NOT speaking up isn’t love, it's people pleasing. Sometimes love means telling an uncomfortable truth.
If you’re down for more truth and clarity in your life, click here to schedule a free 60-minute connection call with me. May your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡