the true measure of strength

'The true measure of strength is based on who you lift up, not who you beat down.' ~Kamala Harris

Ever since last week I’ve been thinking about this phrase.

I love the idea of lifting up my fellow humans. I love the idea that we are more alike than we are different, and I want to be part of a world that is more unifying than divisive.

But what does it actually mean, to lift someone up?

It begins with the conviction that you and I are created equal, with the same unalienable rights.

Even if our society hasn’t done a great job at protecting these rights. Even if we have a ways to go.

To believe that we are equal means I support you having the same rights as me. 

To lift you up requires that I understand that we are alike in so many ways. And it requires that I celebrate and embrace where we are different.

To lift you up means I want you to thrive, and I understand that you thriving does not deprive me in any way.

Lifting you up brings me joy, because uplifting brings both of us up.

Lifting someone up can be as simple as a smile…or a wave…or a friendly nod. Lifting someone up can be listening to them tell their story without interrupting. Lifting someone up can be asking, ‘how are you?’ and really taking the time to hear their answer. Lifting someone up is wanting their success, joy and empowerment.

Lifting someone up means giving them the benefit of the doubt. It means doing your best to understand them - or at least giving them space and grace - if they don’t see eye-to-eye with you.

Lifting someone up is knowing you’re aligned in some ways even if you’re not in other ways. However, it never means tolerating abuse or mistreatment…we still need to have boundaries. And not everyone may be in a place to be lifted up.

Lifting up is doing no harm. Lifting up is being kind even when you disagree.

Lifting up is helping when you can. Sometimes that means you won’t your way; in these cases you’re OK compromising to bring someone else joy.

Have you ever had an experience where you did someone a favor or went out of your way to help and even though it was slightly inconvenient for you, the net effect was a positive, good feeling? That’s what I’m talking about.

Lifting others up isn’t about neglecting your own needs or being a doormat. It’s about realizing your own abundance and wanting others to know theirs, too.

Lifting up means giving of yourself…your passions, talents, personality, energy and enthusiasm…to the world. You can uplift people you don’t know personally and will never actually meet, just by contributing something that’s valuable to them.

The intention to lift others up is the intention to make the world a better place by giving of yourself in a way that changes the world. It needn’t be glamorous or something that makes you famous. Being a really good teacher, or a really good grocery store clerk, or a really good auto mechanic…these are all beautiful ways to serve and uplift others.

If the measure of someone’s strength is how they uplift others, what does a strong, effective life look like?

I think of my mom Janis, who was an elementary school music teacher.

Janis loved working with kids. She loved teaching them about music. She loved teaching them about world history through fun songs. She truly loved her students and they loved her.

She glowed when she talked about her work. And at her memorial service, former student after former student - many who were now young adults - spoke of the incredible positive effects she had on their lives.

Janis wasn’t famous or wealthy…but damn, wasn’t she strong and successful?

She lives on through hundreds of people that she touched.

Your true measure of strength is based on who you lift up, not beat down.

Let’s turn that inward for a moment. Because if you want to uplift others, you need to be uplifted too.

You need to believe you are worthy.

You need to give yourself grace when you fall short of your own ideals.

To recognize when you’re beating yourself down.

To understand that we are equal is also to know that no one is innately better than you.

To lift yourself up means to want the best for yourself…because you, like everyone else, deserve to be happy and loved.

To lift yourself up is not to talk shit about yourself (boy do I need this reminder sometimes!).

It is to acknowledge your strengths as well as your weaknesses.

To lift yourself up is to give yourself the leeway to go after what you dream, and to know that you are worth it.

Lifting up versus beating down.

Somehow I can’t imagine that y’all are the beating down type.

But isn’t it interesting to ask:

How could I get even better at lifting up?

How can I bring all that I am - my strengths and skills and unique energy - to the world?

How can I be a force for good?

For unity?

Food for thought? Click here to schedule a free connection call with me. And for more juicy life stuff, check out my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡