it’s OK to unclench

Happy Wednesday, friends.

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been taking in WAY too much news. (Apparently, I don’t follow my own advice).

I’ve been noticing increased feelings of anxiety, insecurity, danger, anger, sadness, and hopelessness.

While all of these feelings are human (and they belong), a steady daily diet of them isn’t healthy.

It feels like my body is clenched.

You know how when physical danger is imminent, you tighten up to protect yourself?

That’s what it feels like I’m doing…stiffening, bracing, and clenching. It’s the opposite of fluidity and expansion.

This morning I found myself reading three simple affirmations from Louise Hay:

I trust the process of life.

All I need is always taken care of.

I am safe.

Honestly, I’ve had a hot/cold relationship with affirmations.

I believe they are powerful when deeply felt and practiced in an embodied way.

I also know that without emotional buy-in, affirmations are just words I throw around to try to feel better.

If I’m going to use affirmations, I’d better be emotionally committed.

Today I needed them. As soon as I wrote out the three sentences, I knew that I’ve been thinking the exact opposite.

Not exercising better boundaries around the news has left me feeling distrustful, chaotic, and unsafe.

As I sat with the three sentences, I started to consider how they’re actually true.

I trust the process of life.

My life is doing what it’s doing without me controlling it. I can’t see all of the inner workings of this process or everything happening beyond my awareness, but it is unfolding at its own pace.

Likewise, there’s a process playing out in the world now. I don’t always like how it looks, but I can’t see every part of it.

Maybe some of the ugly stuff that’s happening is planting seeds for real change. Maybe it’s sparking dreams of a better way to treat each other. Maybe it’s bringing humans together across communities to take care of each other and stand up to bullies.

There’s a process happening here that I can choose to trust…even if I can’t see every piece of it right now.

All I need is always taken care of.

My unconscious mind doesn’t believe this…it wants to keep me hustling, always looking out for what’s not going right.

But when I consider my life so far, I see that I’ve always had everything I needed.

Maybe not everything I wanted.

But I’ve never truly needed anything that I didn’t have.

I’ve always had food and shelter. I’ve always had people who loved and cared about me. I’ve always had interesting things to think about and pursue. I’ve always had a healthy body…and when my health wasn’t perfect…when I was sick or injured…I was always in the process of getting better.

Considering that my needs have always been met, who am I to doubt that it will continue?

I am safe.

As someone who is prone to overthinking, anxiety and hypervigilance, this one’s tricky.

My instinctive reaction to the change happening in the world right now is to not feel safe.

Isn’t it ironic and cosmically comical that I coach people going through change?

They say that what you coach or teach is what you know. Bingo!

All things considered though, I have been radically safe.

It’s not that nothing unpleasant or injurious has happened to me. I’ve had my share of knocks.

But I’ve never felt unsafe.

Even in times of upheaval, I’ve felt taken care of.

Don’t get me wrong, I realize how privileged my experience is. When I think about a person living in Gaza - or an immigrant in the US - or a transgender person right now, I wonder how they feel. Does the affirmation ‘I am safe’ feel like total B.S.?

Or is there some grain of truth there, even in a very difficult situation?

Personally speaking, I find more truth than untruth in these three affirmations. And while I’ll stay informed, I’m going to be more careful with the thoughts and ideas I feed myself every day.

This morning as I reflected on what’s actually true, I felt my body start to unclench…ever so slightly.

I’m going to keep noticing the ways in which I’m really OK at this very moment.

How life has always had my back.

It feels good to do this.

And you can do it too.

What unconscious thoughts and beliefs are slipping by that cause your body to brace and defend itself?

How could the opposite of those beliefs be true?

How could you be safe, taken care of and flowing with the process of life, even when you fear you aren’t?

This is an invitation to get curious and see what happens.

You may find that something deep in you begins to relax and let go.