heal yourself. heal your community.

Today I want to talk about how to feel grounded, purposeful, and connected to yourself and others…even in challenging times.

You may know that I work with people around change.

Big, deep, meaningful life change.

And while I love talking about change, I’m coming to see - especially these days - that my work is about something much deeper.

It’s about healing.

The idea of healing is simple…and also complex. Healing is at the root of change work.

Healing isn’t some magical, mysterious, instantaneous transformation. It is a lifelong process and a path that you choose.

Healing keeps bringing you back into sync with yourself. When you choose a healing path, you bring well-being to yourself AND to the world.

As a coach, I’ve come to see that change IS healing. And healing is change.

If you’ve ever felt that some part of your life doesn’t ‘fit’ anymore and you’ve taken steps to be more authentic, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

When you are congruent…in other words, when who you are on the outside matches who you are on the inside, it’s a healthy feeling.

On the other hand, when you feel like you need to hide parts of yourself or not express your true feelings in order to ‘get by’ in your daily life, you’ll feel some discomfort.

Making a change may seem like an external exercise, but it’s ultimately about lining up with the truth of who you are.

Change work is internal. It’s extremely healing.

And healing doesn’t only happen when you’re making changes.

Healing happens when you address the parts of you that may be hurting, scared, or confused.

Because here’s the amazing thing: the relief you are seeking is within you. It’s not outside of you.

To heal is to tap into your own medicine and your own wisdom. In our fast-paced technological world, you may not have experienced the potency of your own wisdom.

But it’s there, inside.

The true companionship of your inner wisdom is the medicine you’ve been looking for outside yourself.

So what does a healing attitude look like?

If you and I were working together, I’d start by asking a question:

What - if anything - in your life feels off, unsettled or just not good?

At the moment, many people feel uneasy about the future.

What is our government going to look like?

Will it take care of me and the people I care about?

Will it take care of people I don’t know but still care about?

Will there be an uptick in violence or hate crimes?

Will I continue to have a job and be able to provide for my family?

These are some of the questions I’m hearing.

The truth is, no one knows how this is going to play out. We literally have to wait and see. Whatever certainty we thought we had, or want to have, isn’t something that the new government - or any government - can give us.

But that doesn’t mean you have to live in a state of worry or chaos.

You can actually go inside and ask yourself what you need. And then listen very carefully.

When we think of self-care, we often think of doing nice things for ourselves…taking a warm bath, or getting a massage, or taking a nap.

These things are great.

However, I’m talking about a much more radical and lasting self-care: asking yourself questions and listening for the answers.

Self-awareness is the deepest form of self-care.

So let me ask you, what worries you most right now?

Can you be with the discomfort of whatever it is for a moment and really feel it?

What do you need in order to feel OK?

If your external circumstances (such as the government) aren’t going to radically change, what can you do for YOURSELF to feel grounded?

Here’s an example from my own life.

I have a dear loved one in the LGTBQ+ community. One of the things that concerns me is the open attitude of hatred toward LGTBQ+ folks displayed by our newly elected leaders. I deeply worry that normalizing bigotry and violence will lead to more hate crimes. And I worry about the person that I love. Will they be safe?

I can’t wish a new government into power. Even if I could, I know that the government can’t take care of every person, all of the time.

I can’t control where my loved one goes, and whether they’ll always be safe from harm.

I can’t control the rhetoric coming from our newly elected leaders, either.

However, there are things I CAN do.

I can reach out to my loved one and let them know I’m with them.

I can ask how they’re feeling and offer my help, love and support.

I can speak out against the rhetoric, views and policies that discriminate against LGTBQ+ folks.

I can get active in my community.

I can reach out to other LGTBQ+ friends and members of my community and offer to be an ally.

I can donate my time or money to an organization that will protect LGTBQ+ rights.

There’s so much that I CAN do.

While I can’t protect everyone, doing something feels a whole lot better than not doing anything.

And by speaking out, I may reach people who haven’t thought about these issues much.

My words may help others become more aware and more concerned…maybe even inspire them to get involved.

What started as my own fear or worry can become a force for change in my community.

This feels healing.

This brings me to my final point.

Healing happens in community.

Healing and community go hand in hand. While you may begin your healing journey through self-work, you extend healing by being involved in your community. As you address the things that are bringing you down and keeping you up at night and you do what you can for yourself and for others, you help your community to heal, too.

Friends, we need each other…more than ever before.

There are forces that would like to separate and divide us in order to keep us feeling small, scared and defenseless.

They would like us to remain quiet.

But now is not the time to stay small, and it’s not the time to stay silent.

In fact, I believe that some of the awfulness we’re witnessing will ultimately push us over the edge INTO healing.

For that, I’m thankful.

To heal yourself, you have to get quiet.

You need to get in touch with how you’re feeling, and become aware of what you need in order to feel better.

Find that resource - whatever it is - inside of yourself.

And then take action by offering your help to others.

This is a simple grassroots idea.

But when a lot of us do it, it’s powerful.

Do you need some support? Click here to schedule a free 60-minute connection call. And for more juicy life stuff, check out my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡