find the feeling

So you know…with absolute certainty…that you want to change something in your life. You know all of the reasons why you want to make a shift. And you’re motivated. You can get behind the transition. You feel excited about it!

The problem is, even though you know something needs to change soon, you don’t know exactly WHAT you want…just that you want something different. Is this a problem? Hell, no!

When you’re not completely clear on what you want to make a change TO, here’s what to do:

Find the feeling.

When you stop to consider why you want anything at all…a job you love, a relationship that feels good, financial freedom, robust health…it’s not so much about the thing you want as it is about how it makes you feel.

If what you want is plenty of money, why is that? So you can look at stacks of money? Or log into your bank app and see big numbers every day? Um, probably not. A lot of people will say, ‘I want plenty of money so that I can help my family and friends who are in need’ or ‘I want plenty of money so that I can set my own schedule, travel, and not have to work my 9-5 job.’

All of these are great reasons. But let’s keep digging. Why do you want the freedom to set your own schedule and travel around the world? When pushed to find the real reason, most people will say ‘it’s because of how it will make me feel. I’ll feel free, I’ll feel playful, I’ll feel abundant.’

You want a change for how it will make you feel.

Understanding this is important. In working with people on making big changes (and small ones too), I often see them trying to define what they want without first identifying how they want to feel.

Here’s a specific example. A lot of people find me when they are making career changes. That’s one of the biggest shifts you can make in your life, and many of us come to this point at least once where we think about making a change.

You may start to consider a career transition because you are feeling stale or bored or stressed in your current job. Deciding to make a change is the first step. You might think the next step is to decide what kind of job you want instead. It’s amazing how many people get hung up on that next step. They organize and study and think about what to do next. They research, go back to school, and talk with people in different fields. These things are all valid and have their place.

But…

There’s an even more important step that comes before deciding what to change TO.

This step is so important because it directly correlates to your happiness. It’s more energetic than structural. It’s more internal than external. It’s more imaginative and meditative than logical.

The next step is finding the feeling.

When you leave the job with the high stress or the long hours or the unsupportive coworkers…what do you want to feel instead? How do you want to feel in your work day? How do you want to feel about work when you go to bed on Sunday night and wake up on Monday morning? How do you want your work environment to feel? How do you want to feel about your coworkers? How do you want to feel about your schedule? How do you want to manage your time?

How do you want to feel when you talk about your work, when you tell others about what you do?

You can answer all of these questions without needing to know - YET - any real details about your next workplace. You are doing very deep, important inner work when you start by finding the feeling you want.

How you feel is more important than all of the details about what you do. How you feel is everything…it’s directly related to your quality of life in every moment.

Of course, any job, relationship or circumstance will have its ups and downs. The perfect job or the perfect relationship for you will NOT be blissful 100% of the time. You know that, right? But it IS possible to find a job you love or a relationship that feels good to you and fulfilling much of the time. You know when you find something that fits you. And that’s what you’re after here.

Find the feeling.

Find how you want to feel. Milk it. Journal about it. Talk about it. Practice feeling it in advance. I promise you there is a time for details and that time will come.

Find the feeling FIRST. And see what happens.

Want to know more about finding your most powerful feelings? Tune into my podcast, coming home (to yourself). Or schedule a free connection call with me. As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡