Choose who you want to be
Last Wednesday morning when my alarm went off and I opened my eyes, a familiar voice began talking to me…again.
‘You’re not good enough. You’re not successful enough. You’re not figuring this out fast enough. If you hadn’t done x,y, and z you’d be someplace better in your life now.’
But unlike previous mornings, I didn’t wrestle with the voice and let it get me down. Instead, I politely listened to it ramble, waited for a pause, and then responded:
NOPE.
I literally said to myself (and my husband), ‘I’m not listening to that voice anymore. I choose to be someone different today.’ And then I marched into the kitchen, chugged my green drink, made myself some tea, and sat down to journal. The words rolled onto the paper, the energy cleared, and I felt INSPIRED. The whole day flowed. Nothing else was much different from the day before except for how I felt.
The next afternoon, I was on a Zoom call for coaches when my mentor said something that really caught my attention:
"We think whatever our brains fart at us is the truth. It's not! You have to intentionally feed your brain what you want to believe."
Of course! I’ve heard this over the last 15 years from different teachers, and while it makes sense, I don’t always do it. I don’t always choose who I want to be. I sometimes let myself be created by default. I allow my critical thoughts to become an internal diarrhea that undermines my wellbeing. When I believe my negative thoughts, I don’t show up with great energy. I dim my light, I hold back, I apologize for myself, and I feel secretly resentful.
But that was my old pattern. I’m choosing something new. I have intentionally been feeding my brain what I want to believe every day. When I do, I am the kind of person who already has everything I’m creating. I start my day with the beliefs I want to have: that I am strong and capable, intelligent and sensitive, a courageous explorer of my own experience, and in love with the people I serve. And while my life looks much like it did a week ago on the outside, I feel the tectonic shift on the inside. It’s magnetic and exciting. I choose who I want to be - who I GET to be - every single day, and it feels really good.