12 weeks to change

After a connection call with a prospective coaching client yesterday, it occurred to me that I might share a basic template of the change work I do with people, so that you can apply it in your own self work.

It is completely possible to make real and lasting change in your life in 12 weeks.

Of course, some changes will take less than 12 weeks and some changes will take more. Some changes may even take years.

In integrative work, we never force change. The idea is to create natural, lasting change.

Most of the time, that process is not linear.

While it’s possible to have a major realization or clarifying insight that instantly changes your whole perspective, it’s not commonplace.

More often, realizations and insights happen gradually over time.

To be honest, that’s the way I like to see change happen. In my experience, steady and gradual change is the most lasting.

Here are a few steps to navigate the change process.

Identify the thing you want to change

When I work with a new client, we identify what they want to work on. Often, someone is looking for measurable change in an area of their life.

For example, they want to find a fulfilling new job.

They have a clear vision of where they are now and where they want to go.

Sometimes, a person seeks more subtle change.

Something isn’t feeling right in their life and they want to feel better.

Feeling better can come about in different ways.

For instance, their external circumstances might change.

Alternatively, the way they think might change.

I’ve worked with people who’ve had a complete 180 in their thinking and what used to vex them is no longer an issue.

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic for it to be effective.

Sometimes, slight shifts in perception can create an entirely different experience.

But be flexible

It’s good to see where you can be flexible.

For instance, if you want a new job, are you fixated on the exact details of that role?

Or can you leave some flexibility in what you’re willing to accept?

Sometimes we think we know exactly what we want but get something else that we actually like better.

When you can be open to how change can show up, you dramatically increase your odds of happiness and satisfaction.

External work

So, we’ve identified what you want to change, and you have a clear vision that leaves room for delightful surprises.

From this point on, our work together will be both external and internal.

The external work is about taking action.

External work can include making a plan and deciding how and when you’ll take action.

External work is important, because it represents how you show up in the world.

Internal work

The internal work is just as important.

It includes observing yourself: who you’ve been, and the way you’ve done things up to now.

You gently examine the thoughts and behaviors and beliefs that have gotten you to this place.

Why do you do this?

Because your unconscious mind generally contains a bunch of conflicting, limiting, and generally unhelpful stuff…of which you’re not consciously aware.

When your unconscious stuff is unexamined, you keep repeating the same old patterns.

Real and lasting change comes when you can create and execute new patterns - and that can only happen when you identify and change the old thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

I believe that the internal work is especially important and often overlooked.

Let’s face it, most of us are way more comfortable with taking action than we are with doing the deeper, more vulnerable work of examining our unconscious beliefs.

Making real and lasting change in a matter of 12 weeks requires both internal work and external work…and that’s what integrative coaching is all about.

Commit to 12 weeks

What’s so magical about 12 weeks?

Studies show that changing habits and making life changes doesn’t happen instantly; it takes consistent reps over time.

90 days - or 3 months - has become a standard time frame for changing a habit.

In integrative coaching, we use the science behind neuroplasticity and neural reprogramming to interrupt and prune old neural networks - or thought patterns - and deliberately create new, more effective ones.

While it’s a relatively simple process, you need enough time to reinforce these new neural connections.

The repetition over time is what makes integrative change lasting and consistent.

While every person - and every issue - is different, 12 weeks is enough time for most people to see a measurable difference in the thing they’re working on.

I find that inspiring.

Sure, most of us crave the instantaneous gratification of quick change. 12 weeks may seem like a long time.

But 12 weeks will pass anyway, quicker than you might think.

What if the thing that’s giving you the biggest headache right now could be significantly changed, transformed, or eliminated 12 weeks from now?

Does that shed a different light on things?

What is it that you want to change?

How will you feel when you’ve made that change?

What are you waiting for?

Want to experience 12 weeks to change with me ? Click here to schedule a free 30-minute connection call. And for more juicy life stuff, check out my podcast, coming home (to yourself). As always, may your week be filled with self-love and rich insights. With love, Amy ♡♡♡